im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
