i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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