you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I need a beard to bite.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
