Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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