i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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