Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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