im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize