More tranny stories later!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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