Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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