He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
they're like a gay fantastic four
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
