She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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