party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Randomize
