I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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