In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
