Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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