I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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