Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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