I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
