don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize