I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
