Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
