So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
