if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
