dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
