I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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