would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
