I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
40s are totally the cure
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
