If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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