Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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