You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
