i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Randomize
