Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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