All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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