I swear she didn't look like that last week.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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