I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
