Pants 0. Shit 1.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
