mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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