woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
