She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
