Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
