I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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