wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
