Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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