i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
