I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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