All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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