they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize