I must be too annoying 4 u.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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