I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
