Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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