Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
