Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
