Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
