I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
