weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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