Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
