She's JV to your varsity
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
