shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
