I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
