Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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