You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize