I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
