her vagine was all disorganized.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
