what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
