it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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