umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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