Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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