i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
