I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Randomize
