Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Be still, my beating vagina.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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