you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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