We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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